The Crab Chronicles

Watching Amp 1 Basketball

One thing I never anticipated when I adopted Michael was that I would get to meet a lot of amazing, fascinating people. Usually I "meet" them online, but yesterday Michael and I met folks in person.

Through Robin Burton of the Orthotic and Prosthetic Activities Foundation, I learned about a basketball game last night at Milton High School in Alpharetta. [For those not familiar, that's about a 45 minute drive from where we live in Atlanta]

So Michael and I went up there yesterday afternoon to see the guys from Amp 1 [standup amputee basketball] play. What an amazing game. There were 4 quarters of 8 minutes each, and the Amp 1 guys smoked the Milton High players and alumni team - a win of 20 points! It was very exciting.

Michael also got to meet Richard Ramsey before the game. Richard has the same limb difference as Michael, and he is just a super nice, personable young man. He took the time to talk to Michael, really visit with him, and for that I am so grateful. Richard lives in Portland Oregon and designs shoes for Nike. What a cool job! Michael has now seen a young man with his same limb difference who is a stellar athlete and has a very cool job. Great role model.

They chatted before the game. When the game commenced, Mike and I were both blown away by Richard's incredible playing. He's not the tallest guy around, but man, can he shoot! He scored a lot of the points for Amp 1.

We were also blessed because many of the folks Michael has gone to the Adventure Amputee Camp with in years past were there.

Richard making a free throw

below, Mike with Colleen, his buddy from CHOA

The New Braves Stadium

OK, I am rarely thrown for a loop by any news story because I am deeply cynical about a lot of things, but this story about the Braves? It's nutso.

Atlanta Braves Announce Plans to Move to New Stadium

The area they are talking about is a traffic nightmare. I've been through there countless times.The Braves folks say it will be better because of all the interstates around there but it's a traffic nightmare NOW. Unless we have flying cars or teleportation is possible in a few years, it will be a much bigger traffic mess.

The new stadium will cost over $600 MILLION, according to the AJC story. They could stay in the current stadium, which they've been in since 1997, but they would have to spend $200 million to "enhance the fan experience."

The new stadium will also have FEWER seats!

How does that enhance anything?! It will likely just make the tickets more pricey, and they are bad enough now.

As anyone knows who reads my blog, I am not much of a sports fan. Baseball is the exception. My grandfather Bob Hasty was a major league baseball player. When Michael and I were in the area of the old Atlanta Crackers stadium on Ponce yesterday I said "That's where your great grandfather used to pay. Yep, right there, where that shopping center is now."

Such a shame. I cried when they tore down Fulton County Stadium in the early 90's, to make way for the new stadium.That was the only place I ever saw my grandfather in a baseball uniform.

I have written about my grandfather over the years, as I did in this post, and this one. It's hard to explain why baseball stories like this disturb me so much.

Sports Wars

Saturdays shoule not be super busy days, but somehow they always are, for me. When I used to work full time I remember being exhausted from trying to cram in everything on the weekends.

Now I work very part-time, and I am still cramming in stuff on the weekends.

Michael is in school every day from 7:30, when we leave the house, until about 3:30 when he walks in the door. That's an 8 hour day. School should not be so long. He has 4 core classes, plus Spanish, PE, and a Foods class. Everyone talks about the foods class being fun, but he is not crazy about it, so far.

If they make cookies in class he will change his mind entirely on that. What kid wouldn't?

Yesterday, I realized in the morning that I needed black ink for my printer. So that turned into a trip to Walmart. That turned into a semi-grocery shopping trip since they made our local Wallyworld into a Super Walmart. Much bigger store now. Same number of cashiers, but much bigger store.

We came home and ate a quick lunch, then Michael had a tennis match. We had to drive 40 minutes to get to the match, way up 400 in Roswell.

It amuses me to hear people say they live in Atlanta, when they actually live in Roswell. Or Marietta. Or Decatur. Or Vinings.

I live in ATLANTA. Mailing address says "Atlanta."

Now, if I lived in one of those little towns that has magically been eaten up by the behemoth "Atlanta Metro Area" I would simply say "I live in Roswell/Decatur/Vinings/___________." If pressed, by a person out of state who has never hear of any of those little towns, I might say "It's in the greater Atlanta metro area."

Anyway, I digressed from my main topic.

The tennis match was, um..... well, we lost. One of our singles players won, but he almost always wins. Stellar tennis player. I expect to see him at Wimbledon in a few years. Really nice boy, too.

Michael always gets mad when I am cordial to the other team moms and dads. To him, it's WAR. To me, it's a pleasant way to spend an afternoon, and why not chat with folks?!?

What I do dislike terribly, in tennis or in any sport, is the dads.

A mother will watch her child play a sport, and 98% of the time yell encouragement, console him if he loses, generally be attentive and sympathetic.

A dad, however, I have noticed, has about a 75% chance of being, well, a jerk. I have not seen dads on our team doing this, but I have notice it with other kids' dads, from other teams.

What is it, a testosterone thing?! Why do dads watch baseball, soccer, tennis, wrestling, whatever - and yell and scream and growl like animals?!

When Michael played soccer, the dads scared me. I tried to sit far away from them, the papa bears pacing along the sidelines, screaming at their boys.

Mild mannered men will turn into screaming wrestlemaniac fanatics when their sons are playing a sport.

One of the other teams' dads yesterday was sitting there crticizing every move his kid made on the court, rarely saying anything nice. At one point he turned to his daughter, who was sitting there, and said with a fanatical gleam "That's TEXTBOOK. Did you see that?!"Why not just say "Good shot!"

She just nodded. She is used to him. Michael and I compared notes later. We both thought the guy was a jerk.

Jerks abound.

Michael watching the other doubles match yesterday

My Awesome Son from Kazakhstan

I spent a good deal of time yesterday working on an article for a magazine aimed specifically at folks with limb differences, inMotion. I have seen the magazine at the clinic where Michael goes to get his prosthetic fitted and adjusted.

The article I wrote is not long, but the thesis is simply that not all UE [upper extremity] limb difference folks choose to wear a prosthetic.

If you think about it, it makes sense. If you are a LE [lower extremity] limb different person, you will find it impossible to walk without a prosthetic. Most people will choose a prosthetic over a wheelchair or crutches, absent other issues.

If you are missing a hand, or even an entire arm, however, you have more choice.

Michael lost his right hand and forearm to frostbite when he was 5 years old. Can you imagine being 5 years old and being told that if your hand isn't amputated, you will die? It boggles my mind and makes me very sad every time I think of that.

Michael has a remarkably good attitude about his missing hand. Rarely have I ever heard him complain about it, even though he sometimes gets frustrated with manual tasks such as cutting.

I have been reading a blog for a while by a young pastor in Wisconsin who has the same limb difference as Michael. his blog is Living One Handed. I really like it, because he aims to have a positive influence on people who live with only one hand.As he says:

"My aim in life is to help people realize they are valuable.

They are lovable.

They are important.

Hopefully my story, my life, will help you to find and live yours."

See this little guy, with his pants that are too big? This is Michael in 2007, in my hotel room in Kazakhstan, playing with an inflatable beach ball I brought from America. See that grin on his face? He already knew he was loved and wanted, and would soon be heading to a new life in America.

There are hundreds of kids with limb differences needing to be adopted.

Most people when they talk about adoption say they want a "healthy" child. They don't want to consider a child who is not, in their eyes, "whole." What they fail to realize is the amazing resilience of a child who may be viewed as "handicapped" by the rest of the world, but who has learned to adjust to his or her limitations and find joy in life anyway.

I belong to a Yahoo group of parents of kids with limb differences, and what I hear over and over from parents who are newly home with their kids is that these kids are amazing.There are 897 members of the group. That's a lot of kids in loving homes.

I was corresponding with another parent about my article and she shared this about her 3 year old son:

"We adopted him from China, he has been home 13 months. Very social. Says hi to everyone. He has become quite the singer, he will serenade ladies at the grocery store with "twinkle, twinkle little star"."

Does that sound like some poor, pitiful little "handicapped" child??

I remember when I was in the process of adopting Michael, some folks looked at me with great skepticism and/or awe, that I would take in a little charity case, like what I was doing was a humanitarian gesture. Nothing could be further from the truth. I knew instinctively that he was the right child for us. The agency said he had a great personality, was intelligent, got along well with other kids, and was totally self-sufficient.The missing hand was really not important to me, although I felt bad that in Kazakhstan he was viewed as a person who would always depend on government assistance and would find it probably impossible to get a job when he grew up.

I also was able to get information on Michael from The Antares Foundation because their CEO had been to Kazakhstan and met Michael, and could tell me truthfully what a great boy he was.

When I traveled to Petropavlovsk, Kazakhstan, in March of 2007 and finally met Michael, after months of hearing about him and seeing photos sent by the good folks at Antares, I knew the moment I saw him he was my son. It didn't matter that he didn't speak English, or that he had spent his first 10 years without us. All that mattered was that I wanted a son and I knew he would be a wonderful addition to our family.

The kind of joy that I felt then, and still feel now, is beyond price. It's not a second-best choice, which is how a lot of people view adoption. Michael has always been my son, but it took me some time to figure that out. He has been a joy to me ever since he came home.

I have heard from several people over the years, folks who know Michael well, that they never think of him as having a missing hand. His personality, his intelligence, his kindness - these are the attributes that shine through. The hand is just not important.

I just wish more people would realize that:

1. Most kids with limb differences are just normal kids, and they can be an awesome addition to your family. Shriners will help your child get a prosthetic if he/she wants one, at no charge.

2. Adoption is not impossible to afford. There is an adoption tax credit of almost $13,000. I also got a $2,000 grant from the state of Georgia for adopting an older child, and a $3,000 grant from my employer.

Even if you don't have any desire to adopt, the fact that you are reading this is a good thing. There are lots of ways to help kids in foster care here, or in orphanages overseas. A good place to learn more is the Evan B. Donaldson Institute.

As you can see below, my son is all boy, and he can do ANYTHING.

Mike at camp in summer 2012, whitewater rafting

hitting golf balls last March

climbing the wall

swimming with Colton earlier this summer

Braves Night

It has been an exhausting day, for a variety of reasons, but late this afternoon I took the boys over to my friend Kristy's house. She generously offered to take Michael and a friend to the Braves game with her family, in honor of his birthday next week. Incredibly kind of her. It was so funny to get to Colton's house and he had on the exact same outfit as Michael. They didn't plan it.

The first time they went to a game together was several years ago, with my friend Gary and his dad.

Michael got new glasses last week, and he said to me as we were walking out to the car tonight, "This will be much better because now with my new glasses I can see the players - before they were blobs!" We foolishly went to an eye doctor who totally mis-diagnosed Michael, and those glasses never really worked for him. We changed to Visionworks last year, and the new glasses are terrific. And cheaper.

When I was 9 and went to the opthalmologist for the first time, I was terrified. My older brother had told me that the doctor would have to pull my eyes out in order to really examine them, and then he would snap them back into my head. I was a ninny and believed him. The doctor said he'd never seen a child scream like that, when he pulled that big piece of viewmast-looking equipment over for me to look into.

My parents were there and they immediately knew what had happened.

Then I got glasses and lost them, many pairs, for the first few years. There was no such thing as vision coverage then either. There are probably still several pairs at the bottom of Douglas Lake...

Biology, Tennis, and Mavericks

I learned a lot about starfish and grasshoppers yesterday. Far more than I ever wanted to know... Yes, I was on full-time duty as a Biology tutor yesterday. Michael has a lot of incomplete work, and he has to get it done.

We took a couple of breaks. One was to go and buy snacks for a tennis match. The other was to actually be at the match. It was a beautiful day, with temps in the 60's. Fortunately it didn't rain, although it was cloudy.

That was the last last ALTA match of the Spring season. Next up is USTA tennis, in the summer.

Michael wasn't playing in a match, but Colton came down and hit with him for a while.

We watched a terrific movie last night after dinner, Chasing Mavericks. I highly recommend it. It appears to be about surfing - and there's a lot about surfing - but it's really about family. It's got a solid core of friendship and values. Also some beautiful shots of the California coast. Excellent film. I hope it finds an audience on DVD.

So here are some pics from yesterday:

Above, from left, Clay, Michael, Tom Doolittle [coach], and Austin. Tom has been a wonderful coach and mentor to Michael for 5 years now.

above, the team. Unfortunately 5 of the boys weren't there.

below, Colton and Michael

trying to get Mike to smile is difficult sometimes...

Today: more Biology. And some English. And Kroger. Oh joy...

A Positive Thought Regarding Boston

We were in Dick's Sporting Goods yesterday, Michael and I, picking up his newly re-strung tennis racquet. Michael didn't wear his prosthetic. One of the cashiers, a young black man, just stared and stared at us. I wanted to go over to the young man and say "What ARE you looking at?? You think it takes two hands to play tennis?!"

GRRR....

Michael never has trouble with his tennis team opponents staring or making rude comments. That's one nice thing about ALTA tennis; families are almost always nice, and kids are polite.

As I was finishing up dinner last night we saw a story I liked, Dance Teacher Who Lost a Foot in Bombing Vows to Dance Again.

(I saw the story on ABC News but the print story I linked to is better, more complete.)

If there is any good thing to come out of the tragedy of Boston, it may be an expanded awareness that if you lose a foot or a leg, you can still have a good life, an active life. You do not have to have 4 limbs to play sports.

Above, Michael skiing. Below, he climbs.

He also plays basketball:

Above, Michael whitewater rafting.

So just be aware that amputees can lead very full, happy lives, regardless of their disability.

Tennis and Rude Gestures

Yesterday's high was in the upper 60's and so I was not much for sitting at the computer typing yesterday. Thus no blogging.

Today promises to be equally beautiful, so the plan is to go to Kroger and then do some gardening.

Michael had a tennis match yesterday, so I spent most of the afternoon there:

The match was an away match, against a club near Oglethorpe University. There was a small lake right there which was lovely. You can see it in the photo above.

 

There were more boys that played yesterday but I didn't think to get a photo before they left. This week, I plan on taking more photos.

This afternoon I have to get two of Michael's racquets re-strung. He breaks strings like you wouldn't believe.

I also was delighted to see some antique photos of my great-grandfather Robert E. Butler, and his mother, Charlotte Wood Butler, that I hadn't seen before.

I used to wonder why on earth Granny married him, because he was not an ideal husband. He clearly was a cutie pie, though, when younger.

This is his mother, my great-great-grandmother:

Michael took one look at Charlotte and snickered. He said it looks like she's flipping somebody off. I seriously doubt that. Then again, who knows?!

Spring is Today

It's been difficult to think what to write about today, because the past 24 hours have been packed with activities. I had to deal with some tennis team drama, and I can't share that. It's done, though.

We almost won our tennis match last night, but not quite. We lost by two points. However, all the boys who played battled it out quite spectacularly. Tom [my co-captain and the one of us who really knows tennis] said it was the best match he had ever seen at Leslie Beach Club.

At least we had good weather. Today it's 70, tomorrow the high is 73, and Monday the high is 78! I heard a local weatherman say we had colder temps in March than we'd had in January! I believe it.

Michael wanted a haircut so I took him to get one, and he got it buzzed. His hair is about 3/4 of an inch all over his head. He is happy because he doesn't have to deal with it. He would make a good marine.

We next went to Walmart and got some bedding plants for the front flower bed. I left in last years' impatiens because I have a friend who says they will come back up. We shall see. I also got sacks of cow manure for $1.47! Score!

Michael walked into the garden department and surveyed all the flowers. He inhaled deeply. "It smells like spring!" he said. He is starting to show more of an interest in gardening. He insisted we get some dill, which I was happy to do. I love the smell of fresh dill. I am itching to plant more.

Although most of Michael's friends are out of town during the next week, we will be here. So I hope I can get a lot done...

Love the quote below from the Dalai Lama. SO true!

Catalyst Sports Climbing Clinic

I spent the morning watching Michael climb the walls. Literally. He was a good sport about getting up early to get to the Adaptive Climbing Clinic put on by Catalyst Sports.

A lot of folks with limb differences think sports are out for them, but that's not true. With a little extra help, they can do sports, even rigorous ones limb climbing, in a lot of cases. I really like the mission statement for Catalyst:

"The Vision for catalyst sports is to be an agent that provokes a significant change or action in the lives of those in the disabled community. We look to discover ways to get those involved that are otherwise turned away … not interested ……in the mainstream sports that most cities offer. We look to provide very unique recreational opportunities that are otherwise difficult to participate in as someone with a disability and to open up their eyes to see all of the possibilites. We also look to connect the young with the old, the new with the experienced, and the strong with the weak in order to build each other up and enjoy the community that we live in together. And in all that we do here at Catalyst sports we do together so that we might glorify God."

Michael had some trepidation about climbing and we knew the Stone Summit Rock Climbing facility is pretty pricey. It's 5 minutes from our house, though, so I was excited to see that Catalyst was offering the free clinic.

Catalyst is a 5013C charity and you can donate here.

There were a lot of folks there, and Mike ran into some of the same folks who help out with his Adventure Amputee Camp in the summer. They also had free gifts, and a cute tee shirt, refreshments, etc.

Below are some photos. Mike is not in the one directly below but it gives you an idea of the size of the place.Picture a facility twice as big as what you see in this photo:

Mike tried a smaller wall at first:

Then he went for one of the bigger walls downstairs:

Too bad he lost his head on the way up...

just kidding.

One of the instructors called Michael "a natural climber" and was very complimentary.

Michael met a young man with his exact same limb difference who likes to climb and has been doing it for a while.

Seriously, these folks put on an excellent event, and we are so delighted to have been able to participate.