The Crab Chronicles

Blogging Monday

I decided since it’s a rainy, cold, nasty Monday, I would post blogs on every one of the many personal blogs I write, just as an exercise. Some of them don't get anything posted on them very often, so this is a little personal challenge, but a fun one.

What most folks don't understand about blogging is that search engines like blogs that are refreshed often. So if you blog only occasionally, the search engines will not feature you very well. You may post wonderful content, but if it goes up only once every few months, not many folks are going to see it.

The easiest was my blog for southern poets, The Word Ocean. I posted one of my all-time favorite poems, The Lake Isle of Innisfree, and a gorgeous photo by my friend Lisa Amos. Here is the result. I am still looking for southern poets who would like to be features, so pass this along to anyone southern who loves to write poetry.

I gave some quick tips on how to improve your writing over at The Write Rainmaker. This is the blog for my business, but I also like to just discuss writing in general sometimes, and/or marketing.

Over on my funny dating website I wrote about The Breakup Ultimatum. I am aware of a dating situation regarding someone I know right now and I’d like to just shake them and say ULTIMATUMS DON’T WORK! I can’t really, though, because the Breakup Ultimatum worked for my mom, many years ago. However, the “don’t try this at home kids” admonishment is appropriate here…

I talked about one of my fave actors of all time, Christopher Walken over at Scribblerchick's Movie Dish. If I ever get a chance to watch a movie with him in it, I do, even if the movie isn’t great. Walken is always fun to watch.

Finally, just as an added bonus, if you want to watch something to get in the holiday mood, check out this awesome video:

 

The Sun Is Shining so I Don't Care if It's Monday

For the first time in days, THE SUN!! Yay! I just stood outside in the hot sun deadheading my roses and it felt good.

Of course, it also felt good to come back inside to the air conditioning.

After an early morning doctor's appointment, I took Michael out to breakfast at IHOP, one of his favorite places. I was amazed that even at 9:30 on a Monday morning that place was crowded. Wow.

For his birthday, I bought Michael a Wii system, used, off Craigslist. I got the entire system plus handheld thingies for $60. Can't beat that. I remember when they came out and cost $300. My firmly held belief is that if you wait a little while, all technology items drop in price. I hate paying full retail for anything. I will wait years if necessary.

Some of Michael's friends are planning something for his birthday, which is next week, but I cannot reveal details here. (I don't know all the details, actually...)

I spent a fair amount of time over the weekend working on a website for my Write Rainmaker business. I've had a blog for months but I thought it was time for a proper site.  SO.... take a look here, and send the link to any attorneys or small business owners you know! Thanks.

After breakfast I realized I need to renew my driver's license. Of course, they have made that much more difficult, now. I have to find a birth certificate, social security card or proof of my SSN. I heartily approve of these measures, I just don't like having to find all this stuff.

Remember I said I spent a lot of time recently trying to get stuff cleaned out of Alesia's room, to turn it into a Guest Room? I got a lot done on that. I'm still not through, but I am a lot closer. The photo below shows part of it.

The little bedside lamp belonged to my grandmother and was probably made in the 1920's. The blue bookcase was made for my great grandmother and is probably about 75 years old. It's been painted numerous times.

The mirrored washstand is an antique [but not a fine one] and I bought it and painted it years ago. We are having a houseguest next week, so I wanted the room to look fresh and inviting...

A Break in the Rain

Oh my, I have had a day. Everyone in my house is a bit lighter up top - Mother and Michael got haircuts. I feel like all I've done is haul folks around, although I did find time in the middle of the day to go swimming and get some laps done.The sun even came out briefly, to remind me I hadn't bothered with sunscreen.

After the unceasingly awful, gray weather yesterday, I was ready for some sunshine. I headed down to the pool just after 2 and was able to swim a bit and not freeze to death. There was a big brown spider sitting on the rope separating the lanes. I kept waiting for him to come in swimming and try to get on me or bite me or something. Let's just say I swam extra fast today...

Came home and ate lunch.

I decided it couldn't be that hard to build myself a little website for my Write Rainmaker business. Boy was I wrong about THAT. I have been tinkering with this free Google website thing on and off all afternoon and it's still not like I want it, but it will have to do. Here's the site if you want to take a look.

I can't decide if I want to limit my services to just attorneys or not. I tend to get hired by attorneys more because they know I can translate legalese into prose normal people can understand, but I'd love to write website copy or a blog for something different, for instance a bakery or boutique.

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For Michael's birthday, and mine [a co-present] we found and purchased a Wii system on Craigslist about a week ago. Mike kicked in on the purchase $$. Last night Michael and I played Wii golf and Wii tennis. I thought it was fun. It wasn't anything that changed my life, but it was mildly interesting. When it gets too cold to swim I will probably break down and buy a Wii fit package, used of course. Why pay full retail?!

We had a nice day yesterday for my birthday. We ate lunch at The Greater Good Barbeque in Tucker. We had a big plate of fried pickles as an appetizer and that was OK except then I couldn't eat my lunch. I had 2 bites of mac & cheese and ate the meat out of my pork sliders and I was DONE.Then we saw The Lone Ranger. Do NOT go see it. Really not great. BUT I enjoyed my lunch, despite the torrential rains!

Mike preparing to eat fried pickles.

Isn't he a cutie pie?!? I am not biased at all.

The lady who cut his hair this afternoon had a fit over him. "You're just the cutest thing I've ever seen! Where are you from??!" she drawled.

"I'm originally from Kazakhstan," he replied politely.

"Really?? I'm originally from ALABAMA!"

I was sitting nearby reading a magazine and trying not to laugh out loud. She was twice his age and twice his size...

You Have 2 Cows...

Yesterday was a marathon busy day, all day, but it was good. I just didn't have time to post. I had a speaking engagement in front of a group of attorneys, which actually turned out to be kind of fun. I picked up a writing client for my Write Rainmaker business, so that's great.

I then came home and had to do a lot of homework with Michael.

One of my cousins posted the thing below on Facebook and it made me laugh, so I am sharing it.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

Family Infighting

I had a meeting last night with my friend Kristyne Seidenberg, and we talked about the challenges of translating legalese for non-lawyers, and making good website content. I find that sort of thing fascinating, and it prompted me to write a new post for my professional blog, What Language Do You Speak?

My dad used to give a speech all over Augusta called The Importance of Having a Will. Most people have no idea that if they die without a will, your property is distributed to your heirs according to state law, which may or may not be how you want it to happen.

Did you know you already have an estate? Doesn't matter is you are rich or poor, if you own anything tangible it IS an estate. You need to talk to an attorney about how to make sure after you die, your children or whoever inherits will not be socked with a huge burden.(I understand the inheritance tax laws are changing, which is good, I think.)

My great grandmother, Beulah Phillips Butler, did something rather unique. The last twenty years or so of her life, she and grandaddy didn't have much money. After he died, Granny lived with her children [12 of them] rotating between their homes. Most often she lived with her daughter Hazel. One day she called Hazel and told her to come home from work and bring the doctor. Granny was never sick so Hazel was alarmed. By the time she got there, Granny was dead.

Granny had labeled ALL her possessions with the name of the child or grandchild she wanted it to go to. She had also bathed and dressed nicely, and all her clothes were clean. (She was lying peacefully on her bed. She was ready to die, and she died!) Everything was neat and orderly. She was trying to avoid her 7 daughters squabbling.

Ironically, about 30 years later her son died, and the remaining sisters squabbled over his estate. There was a court case. It was a huge rift within the family.

People never think that sort of infighting will happen within THEIR family, but then it does. There are hurt feelings and it's a mess - legally, emotionally, every way.

One way to describe that sort of thing is "fiduciary litigation." Kristy has done a lot of that. An attorney who is skilled and savvy at strightening out those sorts of things is very valuable. Kristy has a master's in psychology and an innate ability to sort through things and see them clearly. She also has a lot of compassion - hugely important in that sort of litigation.

Kristy's website has a good explanation of Fiduciary Law.

Anyway, it's food for thought...

My grandmother's family, the Butlers, about 1921. My grandmother is seated on the steps second row, in a dark dress.

One Step At a Time

I got in the shower this morning thinking, what am I going to blog about?? My life is not all that interesting. Then again, I am launching a new business The Write Rainmaker so there's a lot going on in my world.

[BTW, if you are on Facebook, please go to The Facebook page and click LIKE. Thanks!]

It's exciting and scary at the same time.

I've been writing for attorneys since 1985, but mostly work product - pleadings, letters, summaries of information. Most folks don't realize the sheer volume of information in lawsuits. I've gathered records from third parties, bates labeled thousands of pages, organized them, summarized them, etc. Actual "legal research" is only a fraction of what goes into most cases. 

Attorneys are [usually] really good at practicing law. They usually need help with marketing. The younger ones seem to intuitively know the value of it more than the older ones, which is to be expected.

However, if my mother, who is almost 80, can blog, I can prove that "old dogs CAN learn new tricks."

I can also write blogs and website materials for non-attorneys, too.

Here's an excerpt from a message I sent to some of my friends who have small businesses:

Whatever your business, whether it’s making cupcakes, selling flowers, or selling a service like fixing computers, I can help increase your business by writing a blog for you. The more your website shows up in a Google search, the more folks will want what you’re selling.  So if I blog for you once a week, you’ll get a lot more hits than if I blog for you once a month. If I Tweet about your blogs to your followers, you will get more business. Everything is about how much your business is on the internet now.

Now back to really important stuff: FOOD. We had some Aidell's bacon and pineapple sausages last night and WOW. SO so yummy. Our usual Sunday night grilled cheese dinner was really nice with the addition of the sausages. All the Aidell's products I've tried are wonderful. [No, they don't pay me to say that, either.] I pop some of those on the little George Foreman grill and less than 5 minutes later they are ready to go.

Made Michael some yummy breakfast cereal and let HIM mix it up, so he WILL eat it, I am sure. It's just a block of cream cheese [softened] plus a cup or so of vanilla yogurt, a carton of fresh blueberries, oatmeal, and some cinnamon and sugar. He will eat a ton of that and it's healthy for him.

The high today is in the upper 50's, so a typical end of January day in Hot-Lanta.

Have a great Monday y'all!

Attorney Writing and Marketing

I am very excited to announce that I have started a new small business called

The Write Rainmaker

Providing website copy, blogs, articles, newsletters, email blasts and more, for attorneys who want to increase their web presence and attract new clients.

I have been a paralegal since 1985, and I have a Master's degree in Creative Writing. I've been blogging for more than 7 years now, and I understand a good bit about SEO [Search Engine Optimization]. I've already been writing for several lawyers now, for a couple of years, but I am ready to expand my business.

I just launched a new blog devoted to The Write Rainmaker. Check it out!

So I've been working on some marketing materials for myself, and what I've got so far is below. I'm still working on a logo image.

What can I do?

Write weekly blog posts that will be picked up by search engines

Write and/or edit articles for the firm website

Write up case results for your website

Compose and manage email blasts to clients

Review your website and advise on ways to make the content more layman-friendly

Find speaking engagements for you so you can connect with possible clients.

Help you evaluate ways to make your website more appealing

 

Why lawyers need help with website marketing:

1. The lawyers who stay busy are the ones who have websites picked up by Google searches, because that's how most people find lawyers now.
2. Lawyers are in the business of practicing law, not writing for websites. 
3. Most lawyers write like lawyers. They need someone who can understand legal lingo and convert it to simple, direct language for a layman.

Why use me?

• 7 years as a blog writer and editor
• 28 years experience as a paralegal
• Master's degree in Creative Writing
• My rates are cheaper than the companies who "specialize" in writing lawyer blogs and websites
• I'm available to talk when it's convenient to you, not just 9-5
• I don't require contracts or up-front payments
• Impeccable references - you can talk to other lawyers who have used my services [for instance my friend James Radford]

I am still working on a Facebook page and new blog or website specifically for the The Write Rainmaker. In the meantime, if you know somebody who could use my services, please pass along a link to this page! Thanks!

Dee

[email protected]

Oh - and if you are not a lawyer but still would like me to help you write website materials or a blog, I am happy to discuss that with you!